Now I know I am not a hideous human being (you know like that awful woman from Dodge Ball) but I somehow have a panache for making really beautiful female friends. Rupert quite aptly puts it 'don't run with dogs if you want to avoid fleas.' This wasn't a conscious decision - everyone just wants to be my friend (clearly no problems with my oversized ego today). But the obvious downside of having beautiful model-esque friends is that I really have to up my game if you don't want to be seen as the munter of the group.
It all began with one Miss Kate Griffiths. It's true my mum loves her more than me. Not even kidding - you know that one person you're parents are always like 'why can't you be more like blah blah'. Well KG is my blah blah. However no one can begrudge her her beauty and she's amazeballs in all departments. Currently M.I.A. this is a direct plea - get in touch I have goss for you!!
So despite the fact in not quite in the same league YET as my friends, there are bonuses to having fit friends, whenever it has been the two of us on a night out it is a lethal combination of Kate getting the free drinks and me drinking them all.
Then I went to uni and amassed a girls house that rivalled all other girls houses in Leeds - what a load of beauts and then there was me...the token fat Asian (don't pity me, in my opinion I won the personality contest). Just to show you how hawtt they were here is a final snap of us all (minus Ellie)
You might think 'actually you kind of fit in with all other beauties, larger but still not bad.' That is only because it took me all afternoon to look like that and days in advance of prepping ( yes, even Asians fake tan - especially those of the Bhatia/coconut breed) not to mention forcing Alice to do my hair. But I am a little better now i don't have to call on her all the time anymore - just when I burn my hands on my straighteners and or when my lashes are more on my cheeks than my eyes.
So after being the ugly duckling for three years you would think I would have learnt my lesson - make friends with less attractive people and then you will look hotter. No. I didn't learn my lesson, my housemates this year are equally hot.
Of course this is minus Kirstie she was probably still getting ready, mulling around in her dressing gown and shouting at Jonny for not being able to do her eyeliner flicks. Then arriving at terrace looking flawless whilst Shariats persistent tequilas have made the rest of us look like rag dolls.
But, I don't care that they are all beaut because in going to be beaut too and then world domination is definitely in sight. 8lbs down and counting kids!
This is going to dramatically drop when I get back from sunny Doobs and the personal trainer sessions kick. Pray that he is hot for me, please. With my fantastic chat... just keep talking in fluid sentences that's all in hoping for, no drool or jaw to floor moments or random outbursts of words a la Alice like 'egg' In essence be cool. I'm not cool he won't love me, damn it!
I think I have used the word beaut enough for one post, I'm starting to sound like Jamie Laing.
Also Mayville Bitches I hope you enjoyed the first Chris Brown mention.
Fatty BB xxx