As such this post is dedicated to all those I have stolen, you have made my talent what it is today. (Toby Ross just to clarify this counts as your birthday blog).
Now Shariat will argue that 'friend stealing' is a negative aspect and seeing as one of her best friends is now one of my best friends (that's you Alice) I get that (well not really but I don't want to be overtly mean). BUT I see it as a positive attribute it means that I have more of you lovely people reading my blog and helping me towards world domination. You might think, what is the success to my superb friend-stealing? I'll tell you...I'm about as threatening as a cuddly toy. Who would ever be intimated by the chubbs, curly haired girl with a clearly confused cultural identity?!
The answer: absolutely no one.
The result: The ability to befriend everyone.
- Girlfriends of fit boyfriends love me because I am zero threat, the most threatening thing that will happen is that I can get by in a conversation about sport and they can't.
- Boyfriends love me because lets face it I cook what the skinny girlfriends refuse to AND talk about sport.
- Kids love me because I look like a stuffed animal.
- Adults love me because I am the walking toy for their children.
Plus how do you make new friends these days?! I work with six middle aged men, I don't particularly want to make friends with them. I exercise in my own house (not that I would ever make gym friends - the six packs do not want to be seen with the six rolls). I went ALL OUT at uni and exhausted all those avenues. So you make friends through other friends. It's natural (see Shariat). Gone are the days when smashed in Mission I could walk up to someone and be like 'Heyyy I know who you are Hannah Yasmin Shariatmadari' (and I only know this through facebook and not real life) and get the reply 'Heyyy I know who you are Kiran Billie Bhatia' (and I only know this through facebook and not real life too) and then one week later be best friends. The last time that happened I ended up with Alice Willmott and she is a drain all my 'Pasta n Sauce' resources.
Hence my thought that labelling my ability to make friends in a short space of time as 'friend stealing' is slightly harsh, in fact I could be the victim of some kind of secret game which is actually 'make Billie be my friend.' There are bonuses to this situation, I will cook for you and share my Vodka with you but most of all let you laugh at me. So in honour of those I have stolen and are now mine I shall be posting this on your facebook walls (for those I actually think would read this) - LOOK OUT. To those I miss...I am truly sorry, it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy stealing you it just means I can smell dinner being cooked and got distracted.
Next week it will be back to how depressed I am with eating protein and how much I miss pasta bake.
Fatty BB xxx